This boy at Target asked if I would hold his hand because his ex girlfriend just walked in with a new guy, so naturally I felt bad and held his hand while strolling around Target for a bit. Then it donned on me, with no other couple in sight, that was the best damn pick up line ever pulled.
fuck every single time that last line gets quoted without the rest
just a reminder: we’re two periods away from 2014.
you couldn’t just say months you had to measure time with your menstrual cycle
fUN FACT. the earliest form of a calender that’s ever been found was to keep track of an ancient person’s menstrual cycle. ppl with vaginas invented time. there is a reason that months are about the same length as the time between periods. that is all.
It’s 2089. all cops have been replaced by genetically modified dogs that let children pet them, help old ladies cross the street, chase down criminals, never eat donuts, bark at cat-callers, analyze dna, easily track down murders, pee on white collar criminals, and tear the faces off of rapists. utopia has been reached.
How was this accomplished you ask?
Well its simple
Dogs are colorblind
"your password is weak"
You’re the weak one
And you’ll never know love, or friendship
And I feel sorry for you